By dotropolis on Sunday, November 9th, 2014

…and the rotating bar.

It was six of us in New Orleans for a bachelor’s party and every day we woke up, ate breakfast, and started drinking. This particular day, we went to a different hotel after breakfast which had this rotating, carousel bar. We found our seats and noticed five women sitting on the other side. Four of them seemed like they were engaged in the conversation but it was one, I could tell, was looking at her friends but looking at us from the corner of her eye. My group was talking about which one of us should initiate conversation.

“Let R.J. do it, he’s the handsome one.”

“What?? Nah nigga. Y'all figure it out. I’m about to take a shit.”

Afterwards, I came back and no moves were made. The women left and we kept drinking. Talking to the bartender about the bad neighborhoods in New Orleans before Katrina and after Katrina.

Later, we were looking for weed and ran into this homeless guy named Spaceman. He had a light brown trench coat, a beard, a real live crow on his arm, a leather vest, fishing boots, fingerless leather gloves, a metallic eyepatch, and a Galaxy Note 4 in his pocket. He made an agreement with one of the people in our group that he would get us weed if we bought him a six pack of beer. I didn’t want to do this and thought it was a waste of time. 

Long story short, we bought him the beer and he led us to this park but it was like the section of the park where all the homeless hippies live. We stood 40 feet away from that group while Spaceman went back and forth to negotiate a reasonable price between the two parties. We got the weed and it was absolute dirt. Everybody was getting antsy about staying in that area too long so we bought it, but didn’t smoke it, and left.

Three more bars later, we end up at Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop, the oldest bar in America, and our go-to bar for this trip. I ordered a Maker’s and coke, for them, and a gin and tonic, for me, when I noticed five women sitting in the corner. The same women from the carousel bar. Before you know it, we’re all sitting at the same table screaming. They were all from San Antonio, talking about how great the Spurs are and debating about what would happen if the Spurs and the Bulls met in the finals. The birthday girl of that bunch was a little distant from everybody and eventually went outside to “smoke.” One by one, each woman walked out to smoke until it was only men at the table. We never saw them again. One of my friends found out that one of them was the winner of the 2008 Hooters competition so there was some extra thirst. But you noticed how they managed to get away from us twice?

The ultimate curve.

By dotropolis on Sunday, August 3rd, 2014

…and the flash.

My entire life flashed before my eyes. I always thought it was a movie cliche but it actually happens. Nobody was in the house with me and I was in the bed sweating. My legs were aching and my arms were shivering even though I was burning hot. And I saw everything. The bathtub they used to wash me and my cousin in when we were babies. The times our hot water went out before school and we had to boil water. My grandma’s house. Watching Power Rangers during our summer vacations. Wanting to be a pro wrestler at one point because I loved Stone Cold, Sting, The Rock, Sabu and a bunch of other random pro wrestlers. Elementary school. High school. Being bullied in both. Every woman I ever kissed. My music and every show we’ve ever done. My friends and associates. My first job. My internships. My current job. My mother. My sister.

Everything.

After the flash was over, I couldn’t tell if my life was real or if my life was a long dream that was a layover while God decided if I was going to heaven or not. Then I thought what I was experiencing was me waking up from this dream. And I let it go. I started getting text messages on my phone, I can’t remember about what. The only words I could type was,

“I need help.”

“What?”

“I need help.”

I had to say it twice. Then I called my sister to tell her I couldn’t breathe anymore. My breaths were short, my eyes were drying out, and my vision was blurry. Almost like a white blur. My sister hung up and I called the ambulance. By the time she confirmed that the ambulance was on the way, I was clinging on to the kitchen sink with my mouth damn near on the faucet. Water splashed all over the phone and my face and my shirt. Somehow, I managed to unlock the front door and the paramedics carried me outside. They shoved an oxygen tube in each nostril and told me my heart was around 200. I asked, 

“What’s the normal heart rate?”

“Around 60.”

In the ER room, I couldn’t really see and I lost almost all of the strength in my arms and legs. Doctors asked me a million questions when I was alone and I couldn’t stop looking at this cross that was hanging over the door. The following morning I was walking again. The following week, Blue Cross Blue Shield told me my hospital bill was for $7,000 for one night and that I’m required to pay $1,600. The following month, it was my birthday, which was last Friday. A surprise party was thrown for me at a condo downtown. My cousin and I were smoking on the balcony after everybody left and talking about how we’re growing and how everything is changing. How time keeps going whether you choose to sit still and waste it or keep moving along with it. And he told me out of our relatives, he relates to me the most. I didn’t respond to that specifically. Just kept staring at the lights and the traffic below us.

No more blur.

By dotropolis on Tuesday, May 6th, 2014

…and the timeline.

I’m dating somebody and this is the first time in a while that I’m not talking to multiple women simultaneoulsy. Usually, one gets on my nerves so I go to the next one. Other times, none of them bother me and I go with whoever’s energy I’d wanna feel that day. This time, all of my energy is focused one person. But it doesn’t feel abnormal to me.

What hasn’t changed is that I’m not uppity about talking about this relationship to everybody. When I do though, I’ve noticed a reocurring theme. I was at this radio station a few weeks ago sitting in the corner while my friend was running her show. We talked about work mostly but the conversation shifted and I ended up showing her a picture of who I’m seeing:

“Awwwwwwwww she’s cute. When are y'all getting married?”

“I wish people would stop joking like that.”

“I’m not joking.”

There was this awkward silence for a few seconds but I wiggled my way out of that topic. Then it happened again last week with another friend:

“Soooooooo can you see yourself marrying her? What are her pros? The cons? Where does she work? What’s her money looking like? I mean there’s no point in dating if you don’t see marriage in the long run, right?”

I’m at the age where single people get paranoid about being single and not having any kids yet. I’m assuming that those factors are attached to the stigma of being lonely after you’re thirty. Lonely and unfulfilled. I don’t feel any pressure to do either one yet but it’s interesting seeing how many people believe in this unspoken timeline of high school, college, 9 to 5, marriage, kids, retirement, and death. And what’s even more interesting to me, is how some find complete happiness in just those things and nothing else. And the most interesting aspect, is how those that fit into that box can make you feel left out if you aren’t in that same category with them. I was listening to this TED talk podcast months ago and this woman described marriage as musical chairs. Everyone is circling the chairs while the music is playing but when the music cuts off, people race to the open seat. The married people are already sitting down by the time they hit a certain age. The single people are the ones still walking and looking for an available seat. But don’t we have a choice on if we want to play that game or not? What about the people that play this game and think homosexuals shouldn’t be allowed to play? What if I don’t like the music? What if I think we should all have player names so everybody is more identifiable? What if I want my name to be Thotropolis?

I need answers.